Chaud: The Magazine

The third culture kid is a term that was first coined by sociologist Ruth Hill Useem to describe children who immigrate to another country with parents from a different culture. Since the children spend the majority of their developmental years outside of the culture their parents grew up in, they assimilate both their parent’s culture and the culture they are growing up in forming a “third culture” of their own.

This balancing act can seem nearly impossible if the cultures you are trying to blend seem to oppose each other. As a Zimbabwean born young person living in the UK I have tried to juggle the two cultures with profound difficulty. The parenting style in the UK is a lot more relaxed than that of an African household. I always felt growing up that my friends were able to get away with so much more than I could ever imagine. One such incident happened when I was in the first year of my GCSE’s and I had failed to complete my homework because the book I had was missing the page I needed. I was given an afterschool detention (I was the last of my friends to receive one) and proceeded to have a panic attack about breaking the news to my parents. I must have seemed incredibly dramatic to my friends but it really was the worst thing I could do in my household and although I was too old for a lashing I wasn’t too old for a good tongue lashing and after all isn’t that really the worst punishment parent’s can hand out?

It is a juggling act that can only work if the parents and children find a common ground. Parents have to be understanding of the society in which they are raising their children and provide a little leeway while children must respect their parent’s culture and rules.

I also found that it is of great importance to find friends that understand of your parent’s culture whether they are TCK’s as well or just mature enough not undermine or judge your parent’s rules. Because this can be the most difficult part to juggle for a TCK, being able to hang out and do the things your friends are doing while still respecting your parents culture. This can include the way you dress, boyfriends and school.

The positives to being  a TCK is the ability to understand other cultures with ease meaning that moving to another country isn’t something that would scare me personally. In fact I embrace it with great excitement. However as a TCK the feeling of belonging to a certain society and its culture doesn’t come easy. Even though I have spent the majority of my life in the UK I find I don’t quite fit in having adopted my parent’s culture as well. Although the idea of ever moving back to my passport country is a daunting one. I would definitely find it very difficult to adjust to the culture and some of the restraints it would have on me. So maybe the scourge of the third culture kid is to never really feel as if they belong to any one culture but to instead float between cultures with effortless comfort. Which I suppose isn’t too bad after all.

Editor’s Note: Unbeknowest to us BuzzFeed did a post on being a Third Culture Kid and of course we relate (My accent changes SWIFTLY..have surprised many a people!) and all TCKs will do too: Check it out below