Dear 2024 – Maternity musings of a 40+ first time mum
2024 gave me the biggest blessing of my life – we welcomed our daughter, Eleanor, in March 2024. As I reflect on the year, the big buckets of my 2024 as a first-time mum are:
Love: No one prepares you for the love you feel for this little person in your life. I am so in love with my daughter. Becoming a mum has made me appreciate my mum and see her in a new light. My mum and I have become closer because like her, I only want the best for my daughter, and leading with that knowledge means each interaction/call/text is a blessing and a gift.
Community: I never knew how much people, especially old ladies, love babies. I have never been showered with as many smiles from strangers as I have each time I step out into the world with my daughter. The kindness of strangers has blown me away…. from people helping me carry the pushchair up stairs on the London Underground to waitresses bringing me hot water for my daughter’s food and the countless knitted gifts from friends and neighbours. 2024 has shone a light on the beauty of community and the old saying that ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. Don’t be surprised if I take up knitting in future!
Finances: There is a reason why it seems you can’t go a week without seeing a news article about declining birth rates, and the cost of living etc. Entering parenthood takes a toll on finances. I am one of the lucky ones with my five-month full pay salary allowance before Statutory Maternity Pay kicks in at a weekly rate of £184 (before tax). My advice to anyone considering going on the journey is make sure you are clued up about your maternity leave policy at work, so you can plan as best you can around it.
Life goes on: Together with my husband amidst the rounds of peekaboo and animal impressions we strive to make time to have fun ourselves – we figure that if we are happy and stimulated that can only rub off on Eleanor. We have tried to push the boundaries and not be reined in. As such, Eleanor has already been to four countries and doesn’t seem fazed by travel. She is also a regular at London’s galleries. There are limits on what you can do – we choose short flights and early dinners for everyone’s sanity and are often the only people there (along with the security guard) as an exhibition opens int the morning! However, the key is to try and enjoy each moment for what it is – even if it is different to what you did before.
Information overload: My husband and I are diligent students. We love learning. Sadly, that is a both a blessing and a curse in this digital world because you will eventually get conflicting information about everything baby related. Being a new parent in this algorithm led world needs to be approached with a hint of savviness and pragmatism because parents are a huge market for brands and products, so stay on guard. My shelf of baby/parent books at home and countless trips to donate things we never used / no longer need to the charity shop are examples of my own victimhood!
Above all, my advice is to remember that your instincts are a good guide and that there is no gospel truth. As my father-in-law says when I tell him about the latest fad – “humans have been raising babies for a long time you know.”
Chaud: The Magazine 